This may come as huge surprise to everyone, but no, I don't have a cellphone. Please catch your your breath. I know it's hard to believe that the Geeky Jock doesn't have the coolest most high-tech phone available (that I got at an awesome price!), but I have plenty (actually, 10) good reasons not to have one.

Reason #1: I don't need one. The Geeky Jockette and I lead rather simple lives. We don't have any kids (yet), we both work in the same town, and there are very few times when we aren't at work that we are not together. In the last year and a half we've been married, I could probably count on one hand how many times I really wished I had a phone, and none of those instances had to do with anything important. These days, it seems like everyone just assumes they need a cell phone (and many do), but to me there is no reason to spend all that money considering all the other downsides to cell phones (keep reading below).

Reason #2: Cell plans are way too expensive. Any decent plan that gives you enough minutes so you don't have to worry about them is going to set back around $50-$60. That's a whole lot of money. Add in the accessories, overages, and taxes and fees and you're looking at even more of a dent in your wallet. Sure, most of us can afford this, but this much money for unreliable service is outrageous.

Reason #3: You're locked into contracts. This really drives me crazy. You have to agree to hand over your money to "the man" for a year or two without knowing whether or not you'll have phone service everywhere that you live your life, whether the customer service will treat you right, and without reading the terms and conditions of the contract word for word. Of course, no one reads the contract word for word, but we all probably should considering the way these companies nickel and dime you to death.

Reason #4: Dropped calls. It blows my mind how often the friends and family I talk to on cell phones are suddenly cut off when their cell service decides to take a poop. Isn't this amazing? It's not like cell phone service is new. This is a mature technology that costs people a lot of money each month. To me it's unacceptable.

Reason #5: Spotty coverage. You can look at a map that shows if there is cell phone service in your area. But that really doesn't mean much. I don't know how many times I've heard people complaining that their cell phone doesn't get a signal in the house that they live in despite the fact that the house is well within the service area. Every time I talk to one of my buddies in Illinois we both know that we're going to get cutoff because of a gap in service that is supposed to be well within the service area. It seems like every time I try to call my parents I get their voicemail despite that fact that their phones are on. Then, they don't get any indication that they have a message until hours later. I could go on and on with the stories I've heard.

Reason #6: Crappy call quality. Have you ever noticed that people tend to yell when they're talking on their cell phones? This reason for this is obvious - with the terrible call quality on today's cell phones, they feel they have to yell to make sure the person on the other end hears them. This blows my mind. Cell phones allow you to instant message, surf the web, take pictures, listen to MP3s, and even watch TV. They can do all these things, yet the one thing they are really made for they do poorly. Shouldn't these companies quit worrying about how to put TV shows on your cell phone, and try to figure out how to make talking on a cell phone sound just as good as on a landline?

Reason #7: Bad customer service. Most cell phone companies don't subscribe to the "The Customer is Always Right" philosophy. I could write a book about the incredible stories I've heard from friends and family about their nightmares trying to get a billing error corrected. The reason for this bad service is simple. You are locked into a contract and you really have no way to get out of it. They can treat you however they want and they know you aren't going anywhere.

Reason #8: People with cell phones can be really annoying. I don't want to become one of those people. Nothing drives me more crazy than hearing someone yelling into their cell phones in a public place. Then there are those people that have incredibly personal conversations in close proximity to dozens of strangers. Not everyone wants to hear about your problems. Of course, then there are those that can't ever miss a call no matter what the situation. Some people even refuse to excuse themselves to take a call while others are talking in a social situation. It amazes me how rude people can be when they take a call while talking to someone face to face. Do they not realize that they are basically saying "What you are saying is not very important, I'm going to talk to someone else"? Allow me one more example: that guy or girl that just can't hang up their phone in order to accomplish a simple task like pay at the checkout line. Am I the only one that is annoyed by this?

Reason #9: We become chained to our phones. I had a cell phone for a year after I graduated from college. I realize how it makes you feel like you need to always have it with you. I also realize that it makes you feel like you always have to be accessible. The truth is, though, that just because you have a cell phone does not mean you always have to be accessible. There is nothing wrong with letting your voicemail take the call. Just because you have it, does not mean you have to answer, especially when you are in a social situation. The world will go on if you don't answer.

Reason #10: I'll admit, I don't have a 10^th reason, but you really need 10 reasons in a top ten list. Let me conclude by saying that I'm not at all anti-cell phone. I totally understand their convenience. I also realize that many people don't have the rude and annoying cell phone habits that I described above. Cell phones have become so commonplace in our lives that I think people sometimes don't realize how much their paying for a service that is so imperfect, and sometimes unneeded. All I know is that my landline phone is cheap, has 100% reliability, and has great call quality (unless I'm talking to someone on cell phone!)